Tuesday, January 15, 2013

I Do Apologize

Why must conversions always come so late? Why do people always apologize to corpses? David Brine (science-fiction writer)
This weekend reminded me how I got over a huge hump a few years ago when I learned to say I'm sorry. An ex, who shall remain nameless, used to complain to me, "Why don't you apologize? You never say you're sorry, you could do that once in a while".
It's something I very rarely did. Before him I never gave it much thought. I didn't grow up hearing it and I continued the tradition by holding on to my ego and pride as if my life depended upon it. I could not admit to being wrong even if I felt bad for whatever I did. I would get stuck in the mud.
His question was valid and began some thinking.
I have found that it is very freeing to apologize. It begins to untangle the guilt of an error. It shows someone you respect/love them enough to do something difficult and that you care. It usually gets things moving back in a positive direction. And it even begins the forgiveness to myself instead of harboring guilt for a mistake. It just feels good.