Friday, May 31, 2013

Massage Often Reveals My Junk



My first massage was not my idea. I was in my mid 20's and had a friend who was getting into spiritual stuff and healing. She did the research and always found Cat psychics, Priests who told your fortune, Mormon housewife healers, Psychiatrists and Doctors who would treat her for free. She swore by this energy massage guy Robert True and thought I should go for some healing myself. I just wanted someone to rub my tight neck.

I went alone to a regular house in an upper class neighborhood and parked around back where the basement studio was one evening. Robert was nice but it wasn't a traditional Swedish Massage. He did strange breathing and exhaling and I told myself I'm not falling for this stuff. I hadn't really heard of foot reflexology at the time but I recall the footwork and the pain he found in the arch of my feet. OMG!

Near the end I was lying face down when he was moving up from my feet and stopped at my mid back. His hands just hovered there for what seemed like many minutes. Doing nothing. I went from questioning him to anger for wasting massage time to utter deep sadness. He revealed to me the lack of trust I carried from abuse done by a teacher who would sit close to that very spot when I was just six.

I wept as I got dressed. I couldn't explain it at the time and I never expected anything like that to happen. But that massage changed my life in a positive way. It started an avalanche of events toward my healing from a trauma I hadn't realize was still with me.

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