Friday, May 31, 2013

Massage Often Reveals My Junk

My first massage was not my idea. I was in my mid 20's and had a friend who was getting into spiritual stuff and healing. She did the research and always found Cat psychics, Priests who told your fortune, Mormon housewife healers, Psychiatrists and Doctors who would treat her for free. She swore by this energy massage guy Robert True and thought I should go for some healing myself. I just wanted someone to rub my tight neck.

I went alone to a regular house in an upper class neighborhood and parked around back where the basement studio was one evening. Robert was nice but it wasn't a traditional Swedish Massage. He did strange breathing and exhaling and I told myself I'm not falling for this stuff. I hadn't really heard of foot reflexology at the time but I recall the footwork and the pain he found in the arch of my feet. OMG!

Near the end I was lying face down when he was moving up from my feet and stopped at my mid back. His hands just hovered there for what seemed like many minutes. Doing nothing. I went from questioning him to anger for wasting massage time to utter deep sadness. He revealed to me the lack of trust I carried from abuse done by a teacher who would sit close to that very spot when I was just six.

I wept as I got dressed. I couldn't explain it at the time and I never expected anything like that to happen. But that massage changed my life in a positive way. It started an avalanche of events toward my healing from a trauma I hadn't realize was still with me.

Monday, May 20, 2013

Tonics and Trailers

From the
 Pre summer goings ons;

The Party Deck is near completion. Rain, dog fight & two sick kids prevented the concrete bench seat from being poured this weekend. Got a good deal on Craigslist patio chairs but darn-it-all they are another project.

Made Amish Noodles and they were dang good. Both kids liked them too & so easy. Noodles, butter, chicken bouillon and chicken broth. BAM!

Pink Bikinis (Pink Puds @ my house) are back on the cocktail menu and are most excellent.
3 ingredients = delish!

Going to try this veggie wash to get my summer produce clean! The grapefruit extract is throwing me off and I need a cute spray bottle.

Marinated Chickpeas - Ginger root. I keep buying it and not using so I've got this on the mental menu.

Cass Scenic Railroad - Summer Vaca planning on tap involves steam trains, baby.

TED talks been listening to these almost daily. It's where I would like to be one day. Really knowledgeable about something helpful.

Daydream dominating is an Airstream guesthouse.

I'm getting ready to start massage therapy classes so I'll post some blogs about health    coming soon. Cheers!

Monday, May 13, 2013

Leaving California For Good

My Mom at the beach early 60's
Every moment is as unique as a snowflake and will not be repeated.

In the early 80's we were in San Diego, California one summer visiting my grandparents and cousins when I was 11. It was a trip full of family and new experiences like bonfires, beach volleyball, big Pacific waves, and the golden-warm sun of Southern California. People there camped on weekends all year round and took their family Christmas pictures in shorts. My feathered hair kept it's curl and we were told when playing outside not to go too far because of  Mexican workers hiding in the fields behind my grandparent's house. The highway was 8 lanes wide, twice the size of Nebraska's highways.

I didn't know it then but it was one of the best trips of my young life. I realized this only upon reflection months and years later. I began to wonder why I didn't know how fabulous the trip was while I was on it. Why I appreciated it so much after it was over not while I was taking the evening walks on the beach. I wanted the chance to do it again so I could appreciate it more as it was happening.

This has been an experience I have weighed over the years. I've slowly been learning to breathe, taste and feel the life of a moment right when it happens. I know how to recognize better when they are going to happen. Like 10 years ago for my dad's 70th birthday all of my siblings and I gave him a surprise visit for a few days at his lake house. I told myself how special times like these are because they may never happen again. Even if they do it will never be just like this. I remind myself,
This is it!
Enjoy it now!

It's confusing a little because in the movies important moments are often made so grandiose and obvious. In life I have often tried to imitate art where I was sure it couldn't be a memorable time without a drunken night of shenanigans. It had to be crazy and loud to count. This is not the case but I had to figure that out s l o w l y. For years I also thought there will always be a Thanksgiving or another holiday together. I took a lot of time for granted because I thought things wouldn't ever change. Well my illusion that there is a perpetual suspension of time has tapped on my shoulder and said it's time to leave California. And as my parents (and everyone)get older I hope to feel the life in as many moments as I can. Isn't it beautiful!


Friday, May 10, 2013

Born That Way

My mummy tummy
We woman are genetically made in a way that helps keep living things alive, nurtured and loved.

Who knew those crazy characteristics I've always had would come in handy when I began to care for the life of a dog and then a baby or two. It's so cool to see how female traits have such good use. I've often felt like a nag and over reactive until I saw how perfectly my ways clicked when applied where appreciated and to things that they were meant for.
I'm talking about traits like;
  • planning, where are we going how long will be there what should I bring. This keeps baby from going naked, cold & hungry on outings. To men it's noise.
  • The ability to remember/keep a list and ask to get things done so medicine gets taken & vegetables get eaten. LIST is pretty much a 4 letter word to men.
  • Why loud noises are so irritating and we need to make them stop. Females are actually wired to go insane from baby crying whilst other genders don't even notice it. This one keeps humanity alive people! It lets men sleep in too so I think they're good with this one.
  • Being emotional beings helps us connect, bond and empathize with babies and people. You might recall a time or two where the man in your life said, "Oh God she wants to talk again."
  • Our inclination for baby talk helps children learn better. My girlfriends and I were doing this "in play" since middle-school. Men appreciate baby talk as long as it's directed at them once in a while.
  • Craving details, where are you going when will you be back so we know when we need to start worrying. Or how long has there been a fever, crying, a rash so we know what our plan of action is. This comes over as NAG NAG NAG NAG and NAG!
  • Multitasking! This impresses everyone!
Things about myself seemed to make more sense once I began to use them as a mother. Even though I was that way before, using them in a less critical environment has made me more understanding of myself and those feminine characteristics which are wonderful for the world.